It’s Not Fun Anymore
Last December, I boldly declared that by this time next year, I would be a published author. Whether that meant striking a trad deal or going indie, I was determined to have a fully polished book available for purchase by 2026. Well, spoiler alert, I didn’t get picked up by one of the Big Five . . . go figure. So here I am in October of 2026—without a book.
Now that doesn’t mean I’m in a terrible place. My manuscript is polished. Edits are complete! I have an artist working on character art and a cover artist working magic! I’m also recording my own audiobook, which is a dream come true for a former drama nerd like me. To be honest, all of that stuff is really fun! I like polishing my book until it glimmers, and I like seeing my characters brought to life with human-made artwork, but now that the fun stuff is underway, I have to deal with some bureaucratic bullshit. Please see an itemized breakdown of said bullshit below. It quite literally has me breaking down.
Email lists: Does . . . does anyone want to give me their email? Apparently it’s one of the most important lists an indie author can curate, but when I look at my Substack, I have literally thirteen subscribers. Is that even an email list? Does it count?
ISBN: What is it? Why is it important? Apparently, if I don’t have one, Amazon owns my book? I don’t want Jeff Bezos to own my book!
ARCs: I have—none. Now, granted, I haven’t made any attempt to gather ARC readers. I don’t really know where to start. According to Reddit, I only need ten, but shoot. Maybe I should try aiming for more?
Blurbs: I have been procrastinating on this one. How could I possibly summarize my masterpiece into a two-paragraph blurb that is as tantalizing as it is concise? I painted landscapes! LANDSCAPES I TELL YOU!!! Now I must condense those landscapes into: Marcelle is hot. Aeris is badass. Eva is sad. Lev is confusing. And Deirdre has succumbed to madness. I suppose that about sums up the book.
Comps: Best I got is My Dark Vanessa in a fantasy setting . . . because who doesn’t want to read that?
Editing the audiobook: Recording the audiobook? Super fun! I get to be dramatic and theatrical in my closet. Sitting there manually splicing out slurred phrases and dead space? Kill me now.
Obviously, I’m being dramatic. At the end of the day, I can only be grateful for the freedom I have to pursue my dream. It’s a privilege to be here at 11:00 AM on a Thursday morning working on a blog post, but goddamnit, the publishing process is overwhelming as hell.